An off the cuff thought here - just stream of consciousness, but here it goes anyway:
Yet another senseless school shooting yesterday - this time by a kid that by all accounts was happy, on the football team, just crowned homecoming prince, and then whom for whatever reason unloaded a gun on his friends - not bullies or enemies but his actual best friends, two of which were his cousins.
What's the big difference between kids today and kids twenty years ago when none of this happened? (And you can argue your opinion all you like but it's true.. not to say no one ever killed anyone at a school two decades ago, but it certainly wasn't a weekly occurrence - most likely not even an annual occurrence.)
The difference is (again, in my humble opinion ) that kids growing into adolescents and teens today are indeed victims - of the new generation of parenting, education, and government involvement.
Don't spank your kids. It will hurt their feelings.
Don't give them a failing grade - it will make them feel like they are less than their peers.
Don't make them work - they should just enjoy life.
Don't make them go outside - living life on the Internet is OK for them. Who needs reality and social interaction?
And most of all - if they're not the perfect child you think they should be, then sign them up for therapy for depression, and pump them full of drugs rather than take the extra time to parent them/educate them correctly.
The argument can certainly be made that there are two kinds of killers lately - the religious zealot that all of the sudden is a convert to "deadly Islam" (and I'm saying that tongue-in-cheek) and the "depressed teenager " that sought to "end their misery."
If a teenager today thinks that misery is a failing grade, a broken relationship with a boyfriend/girlfriend, not being accepted at everything they try to accomplish - is it any wonder they're going bats&!t crazy?
Bring PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY and REALITY back to America's youth and you might see a change - if it's not already too late. The problem is that you've already raised this generation in that skewed sense of what reality is and now THEY are going to raise the next generation. We won't likely have a chance to undo the damage we've done to the future generations because our time is gone. It was wasted on countless hours of psychotherapy for your seven year old rather than the ass-whipping they might have deserved.
Take them out of sports or events where everyone gets a trophy and put them into a real atmosphere where there is an actual winner and loser - because that's the life they're going to grow up into.
Make them repeat a grade if they fail because that's what life is going to do to them as adults.
Throw the g&@-damned Nintendo DS away and push them outside and say "Go play with SOMETHING and don't come back until dinner time" if you have to!
Make the kids of this generation understand what life is ACTUALLY LIKE before it's too late to make a difference. Is what's going on into today's world bad? Yes. If you are of the opinion that we can't hold teenagers responsible as adults when they commit atrocities, then you have to, by simple rules of logic, agree that it is SOMEONE's fault - which makes it yours as parents, as educators, as politicians.
Stop the wussifying-gentrification of this generation while there still MAY possibly exist a small chance in hell that you can reverse the damage you've been doing to them their entire lives. (And yes, I say "you" collectively because I raise my kids how I was raised because it worked. I'm successfully employed, rarely fight, understand disappointment and loss, respect the value of a dollar, and realize I won't always win at everything I do - because my parents raised me to EXPECT the world not to hand me everything on a silver platter, and I do it all without drugs of any kind because I know that's just life and sometimes it sucks - and sometimes it sucks for long stretches of time and I know I have to get used to it and find a way to overcome on my own because all the "feel better" drugs don't actually change my reality in the least! - Thank you SO VERY MUCH MOM for the "real" childhood you gave us both as kids!)
It begins and ends with our children. We've seen day in and day out lately how it ENDS... with a bullet into some other child because some other child is too messed up to deal with reality for whatever reason. Well, it has to BEGIN to get corrected somewhere - and I'd say that now is as good a time as any.
Make sure your kids know that YOU love them unconditionally - but that no one else is going to give them that.
Make them EARN money for things they like - cut the yard, cut the neighbors yards, pick up trash, etc.
Make them play outside when it's hot - it will temper them, not hurt them.
Make them play outside when it's cold - the world is a cold place sometimes. They should learn that early.
Let them fail on their own when it won't affect their life in a dramatic way (and failing 7th grade science won't affect them in a dramatic way) - so they recognize the signs of impending failure when they see them and can learn to self-correct themselves.
Make them understand that they'll never understand the beauty of the sky as seen from the the treetops unless they climb it and risk falling. They'll learn a respect for beauty and might fracture an arm when they fall out of the limb - and then they'll learn to watch what they're doing at the same time if they do.
When they get in fights - lose the therapist and replace it with a good spanking (not beating) when it's deserved - and then make them apologize to each other later. That'll curb the bullying really quick.
Overall, remember you're shaping adults, not making porcelain dolls. When you put a porcelain doll out there in the world... it gets shattered, and we've seen enough of that already.
- Tommy Jordan
